BHS Register

Old Burlington High School Campus Purchased by Casella Waste Systems

Old Burlington High School Campus Purchased by Casella Waste Systems

March 31, 2021

On Monday, March 22, the head of Casella Waste Systems, John W. Casella, bought the old Burlington High School campus through a local auction. He released the news through a press release, sending shock...

C-Building Bathroom to Entire School: BHSs Secret Anti-Door Agenda Uncovered

C-Building Bathroom to Entire School: BHS’s Secret Anti-Door Agenda Uncovered

March 31, 2021

The whole of the A-day cohort was shocked as the first student attempted to hit his Juul in the sleeve of his hoodie, last Thursday at Downtown Burlington High School (dtBHS). As the grey vapor rose from...

Downtown BHS parking garage: site of alleged speeding incidents. 
Photo Credit: Lea Mihok

BHS Administration Introduces New Drag Racing Class on Top Floor of the Parking Garage

March 31, 2021

It was late in the day at the downtown Macy’s and fourth block had just begun. Most students were already tired from a long day of learning and aching to go home. Not the members of Robert Hill’s new...

Photo: Flickr

BHS Relocation Revealed to be Part of Promotion for Macy’s Brand Clothing

March 31, 2021

After a month-long investigation, the Register can now report that Macy’s Department Store provided BSD an estimated $6 million to participate in a promotion for Macy’s apparel.  BHS’ move to...

BHS Speling an Grammer at a All Time Low, Test Results Says

BHS Speling an Grammer at a All Time Low, Test Results Says

March 31, 2021

As stewdents finaly return to in-person skool with no spel-chek anymore, BHS stewdents are worse at spelling then ever, acording to the test results from the PSATs  “BHS has seen worse scores on...

New State Mandate Requires All Students to Practice Fire Drills Via Google Meets

New State Mandate Requires All Students to Practice Fire Drills Via Google Meets

March 31, 2021

On Monday, the BHS Department of Safety announced that it will require all students to practice a virtual fire drill from their homes on asynchronous days.  “It was very awkward,” Matt Johnson,...

All of BHS Tests Proficient in Pre-Calculus Due To Volume of Mr. Lodishs Lectures

All of BHS Tests “Proficient” in Pre-Calculus Due To Volume of Mr. Lodish’s Lectures

March 31, 2021

On March 29, BHS held its annual pre-SAT tests--and the results were astonishing: every single BHS student tested "proficient" in pre-calculus. The spectacular success can be attributed to none other than...

Air Quality Testing Reveals Elevated Levels of Radioactive Materials at Downtown BHS

Air Quality Testing Reveals Elevated Levels of Radioactive Materials at Downtown BHS

March 31, 2021

On April 1, 2021 results from air-quality testing revealed a radioactive substance in the new Downtown BHS campus. The substance is potentially dangerous and has already affected some students.  Jake...

BHS staff model newly announced prom theme.

BHS Prom Theme Announced: “PITy Party” for dtBHS Students

March 31, 2021

It is that time of the year again: lavish dresses, photoshoots, and booming music enter the dreams of  high school students. With the disappointment of last year’s prom looming over their heads, the...

Breaking: Former Macys Store Manager to Assume Position of BHS Principal

Breaking: Former Macy’s Store Manager to Assume Position of BHS Principal

March 31, 2021

On April 1, 2021 Superintendent Flanagan announced via email that former Macy's floor manager, Michael Peterson, will assume the position of BHS Principal effective immediately.  "We have had to do...

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