New State Mandate Requires All Students to Practice Fire Drills Via Google Meets

Disclaimer: This story is written for April Fools Day. All quotes and information are fake and purely for entertainment. Please do not take any of this seriously. Ok? Ok.


On Monday, the BHS Department of Safety announced that it will require all students to practice a virtual fire drill from their homes on asynchronous days.

 “It was very awkward,” Matt Johnson, a BHS sophomore said. “We had to keep our cameras on and everyone just kind of got up and left. There was an alarm and everything.” 

All students were required to keep microphones on, to ensure no one was talking, and to take attendance for themselves and the other members of their home–including any pets present. After 25 minutes, students were able to return to their classes, and continue their lessons. 

The measures prove necessary  after Wednesday’s incident when BHS junior, Kyle Jones, was making microwave popcorn during science. It began smoking and the entire class performed an emergency exit via Google Meets, evacuating safely from their homes. 

“Thank God we were prepared,” Jones said. “Because of the preparations, we avoided what could have been a disaster.”