After several BHS admin issued complaints of rowdy and restless students over the past month, Principal Lauren McBride has now imposed mandatory raves for students. They will be thrown in DtBHS’ meditation room.

“This pandemic has really shown me that what students need now is a good rager, and what better place than the mediation room,” McBride said, as she replaced the hanging art with a flashy new disco ball.

This unconventional decision has been met with much confusion from the student body.

“I was just trying to meditate, but I was told to party or get out,” Anthony William ’23 said. “It’s like the teachers just want an excuse to get groovy.”

Although no students have shown outward enthusiasm, many teachers have been outspoken about their support.

“This is just what I need… I mean what the students need,” said teacher Jon Simmons, who showed up to school sporting a brand new tuxedo for the occasion. 

The new parties will occur weekly as the administration deems fit. Absences from parties will result in a mandatory dance battle between all absent students.